Summer has so far been a mixed bag of simple pleasures such as container gardening and fruit salad on the one hand; and the other hand there is the discomfort one gets with chemical sensitivity when one eats things one is allergic to— most recently the heat wave in our region making the latter a little bit more intense. I ventured out twice this week to do errands and I was able to get around fairly well, but anyone who paid attention could see me stop and cringe, grab my back in agony, or even let out a shrill squawk of pain every so often if I moved the wrong way. No, that wasn’t a new dance move, folks…
The reason my kidneys are troubling me this summer is due to a lack of Vitamin D3, which can lead to health problems such as kidney inflammation, high blood pressure and lethargy. Chemical sensitivity makes eating things like pesticide-laden fresh produce a bit tricky at times even when you are in optimal health and circumstance has made that impossible for us. I did not have the inclination to go anywhere near lawyers to challenge the decision when my application for ODSP was denied last summer and I think the legal community kind of dug their own grave there. This is due to the profoundly negative experience we had trying to get representation while a member of our family’s rights were severely infringed upon. We never found a lawyer, which was an ongoing problem for a variety of critical matters since our arrival in this province.
As a result, I am well-versed at legalese and I’ve had quite the schooling in the field, not that this was justified by any means, as I was already able to manage sans lawyer in a variety of areas ranging from divorce applications to securing copyright protection prior to this repeated legal immersion trauma. People encouraged me to attend area legal clinics in order to secure provincial disability payments and I have little doubt it may have gone well in lieu of the caliber of those who encouraged me, but there was a process of avoidance I had to chew through; a natural result of acute psychological trauma that even the most mentally healthy people must go through before they are able to resume day-to-day life on normal terms.
The irony of this, of course, is that stress on my psyche is no doubt compounded by the lack of this essential vitamin which the local municipal and provincial governments are directly responsible for depriving us of all these years. One cannot be at the beach with no vehicle, and they stole ours for malicious reasons in complete breech of municipal bylaws; one cannot be at one’s desktop computer night and day, fighting for one’s family’s very lives, and also at the beach, in the park, soaking up the sun.
I now own a relatively competitive laptop computer model, however prior to this lucky new acquisition, I owned a clunky, outmoded desktop model that tied me down and was nowhere near portable. The financial strain those involved in this persecution saw fit to reign down on us made the acquisition of such a thing impossible, much less regular meals, which I am sure exacerbated any illness and emotional grief we suffered. I understand certain suckles on the public purse are collecting all the monies owed us and living quite well on the interest it earns from their offshore investments, though. I would like the thank them for their ingenuity and creative maths skills.
Last summer we went out a little in the neighborhood to run errands but we were fighting through some serious residual grief from what happened the year before when Hamilton child protective services helped themselves to my son without his consent in complete disregard for his legal rights and the law. None of us got anything resembling a tan, and the year before that, with Daemon in captivity, there was no leisure time for any of us either. That is why we all look like we had a bath in phosphorescent paint and we don’t feel our best these days.
In retrospect, Hamilton, Ontario was the city I reigned in; it was the first place we moved to where I was able to fully decipher the insidious means by which my reputation was dismantled. The local government felt it was their right to use force and break the law as a means to determine whether these rumors were true and I know they deeply regret it now that everyone can see who we are.
For many years previous to the last three years of hell, I was drowned in red tape from child protection and malicious attacks from landlords by massive mounds of court documents so nobody got much sun then either. For many years before that, I was stalked by malicious parties on the Internet who took great pleasure in tying my hands with malicious libel that resulted in extremely stressful problems with the municipal governments of every city we moved to. That’s the reason we have never been able to go on vacation, not to mention the expense made it impossible.
Our lives were a series of unwarranted emergencies from out of the blue that required an enormous amount of free labor and this tied us down to our place of residence. I juggled that between painstaking devotion to projects that I hoped would result in economic stability; my comic book project, “The Purple Planet”, for instance. I devoted many all-nighters to my commercial arts projects while my kids slept and then I gave them full-time home care during the day. It was a tremendous work load and this had an impact on my health, of course, because it was beyond cruel and there was no discussing the matter with those who hurt us because since hid in the shadows, invading our privacy with impunity and spreading malicious falsehoods about our private business that only further and more extensive privacy invasion from others could refute. (Evidently people these days are sorely lacking in common sense or else they take far too much pleasure in minding other’s private business.)
Due to the malicious gossip, nobody would hire me to do contract work and my projects were shunned while others were encouraged to help themselves to my intellectual property, and then that of my children as they matured into productive people. You must understand I had no idea I was being defamed because those responsible pretend to this day that I do not exist! Our persecutors, who shall not be named here, think by ignoring people they can steal with impunity and nobody will call them on it. At first, when my kids were young, it felt like a curse hung over us. If someone had tried to tell us there was a conspiracy to ruin our lives and impede our worldly success I’d have thought them incredulous! Now I see to what lengths some people will go to secure their own positions, and I fully understand the technology at their disposal; the intricacy and scale of their social networks, their invisible reach within our institutions of domesticity, learning, health, leisure, faith, work and law, and how that transcends our common perception of human rights and justice.
Information is, theoretically, dependent on a certain degree of moral judgment if one is to employ it as a means to destroy others’ prospects and reputation. The word reputation carries in itself a certain implicit suggestion of morality, as you will see from the following Merriam Webster definition:
Full Definition of REPUTATION
b : recognition by other people of some characteristic or ability <has the reputation of being clever>
a: a place in public esteem or regard : good name <trying to protect his reputation>
In order for one to have a “good name or reputation”, it is understood that it is, likewise, possible for one to have a “bad name or reputation”, or else this definition would not make sense in the greater context of society and its projected behavior norms.
I raise this matter because those responsible for the defamatory acts, privacy invasion and stalking that targets my family to this day in the name of national security have, themselves, transcended the definition of disreputable, as one might assume the notion of trustworthiness would carry with it some degree of respect for the law, if not a certain degree of moral fiber and regard at least for one’s peers rather than guile and turpitude exclusively. Our collective perception of morality does tie itself to the customs of the day, and it is not carved in stone because our customs follow trends, however, when one claims to live a life of “charity” and to act with “concern for women’s rights”, morality and good character is a hard sell when one simultaneously profits from the sexual and psychological exploitation of children.
I’ve heard it all thousands of times during my travails in big business and government; how my “naiveté” makes it impossible for me to earn a living wage in modern society and I may as well compromise my value system in order to compete in this climate, but that’s not the story you told all those people who shut me out of the job and housing market, is it. You saddled me, a disabled woman from a poor neighborhood who had enough pain and disadvantage in her life, with all your own transgressions while you played the lily white virgin, then you censored all our news outlets to reflect this twisted deception. My outstanding academic achievements never once lead to pause in your harsh treatment of me either, because you saw it as an opportunity to enrich yourself at my expense while you lied to everyone around you and said I was worthless in your estimation, and deserved to be locked out of society. To this day you can not admit I am anything but disposable while you build your massive fortunes around my intellect! What would happen to you if others were to say you had vilified the woman who made you what you are and in doing so, made yourself a pitiful fraud, only because nobody ever taught you the value of sharing?
There is no room for morality in this discussion, much less merit, therefore you are in no position to judge anyone! If you truly believe your morality to be superior to mine, and you genuinely think young children are not deserving of rights unless they are sexually active as toddlers, and you invade people’s privacy with intent to enforce such a moral outlook because you truly believe it is just, then why did you tell people I hurt my kids while you pretended you had no sexuality to speak of? If you are so certain this perspective is worthy of enforcement with fascist subterfuge of the very fabric of civilization, why do you not lobby the government to change the laws to reflect this? We all know the answer to this question: you know full well you are rotten and sick in the head, you are in denial and your urge to manifest this agenda on society is one of retribution or for some demented sense of entitlement based on fantasy and projection.
I don’t argue that certain social problems are entrenched since the dawn of time and it is impossible to eliminate corruption on a global scale, which is the excuse we get from purveyors of this agenda. My beef is this: you use other people’s bad behavior as an excuse to not even try to act like civilized people- a moral judgment of them, then use the law that others designed to protect the general population from human rights atrocities- hard won through various civil wars and uprisings which is no insignificant thing- as a means to penalize and expel those who are able to follow it far better than you ever did. You do this not from a place of deprivation and suffering, but from a perspective of middle class privilege! You have never wanted for anything; never gone hungry, and yet you are so flip in deciding who gets to bloody well eat, aren’t you?!
It’s not enough for you any more that we turn a blind eye to your corruption, you force law-abiding people to break the law; to victimize their own children for your economic gain- you wish to use the law enforcement community, whose salaries are paid from our tax dollars, as your own private fascist militia to enforce rape and theft for your own competitive advantage. You fly around the globe on “business”, liaison after hotel liaison as tax deductions to pay for your sexual extravagance that you only need to buy because you are so utterly horrible that nobody would otherwise touch you, then you peer down onto our dinner plates to inform us our servings of meat are not frugal enough for your taste!?
There are no words to describe the utter vulgarity of your excess and complete disregard for other people. With every positive gain through your business comes a cesspool of exorbitant negatives that far outweigh your accomplishments, because when you steal our identity as a means to legitimize yourself, you take with you only a fragment of the knowledge necessary to achieve balanced results. Everything else- all your energy goes into indulging your disproportionate appetites and nobody could behave with such overindulgence while doing their jobs properly.
The station that you are fit for; your rightful place in life is one you falsely branded me with, and as a result, I still feel the sting of others’ profound disgust for you and make no mistake, it is massive. My kids have done without, and suffered so you could have all that at their expense while your own feeble kids were beaten silly because you had no idea how to raise them even when I set such a strong, loving example for you to emulate. As a result I have carried your cross all my life and so have my children. They are sick because you have never known mercy, you get pleasure from watching others suffer and you try to blame it on me when you know full well they would be dead had I not been so competent, as you intended.
Failures of your own parents that result in this obscene abuse of those who enable your lavish existence that you feel justify your persecution of us are telling, and your family will bear the shame of your assault on us if it’s the last thing I do. Photographs of you and your mother with pretty hairdos do not absolve you of your appalling crimes against us. I am not a vindictive person but you do not know when to stop and I have already lived half my life in this misery you saw fit to saddle me with to punish me for something I never did to you- that I could never do to another living soul because I really do believe “all lives have equal value”.